So my MFA mentor reads through my pages and makes edits. She tweaks the simplest things, but when she does it all through the pages, the effect is wonderful. And I'm getting to the point that as I'm writing, I can anticipate her tweaks, so that I don't make the "mistake" in the first place.
Below is an example of how she changed the text. I'll give one paragraph first for which there is no change, just to set things up.
I shiver. It's warming up fast, but still, it's like six a.m. in Colorado and I'm in a t-shirt and shorts. I balance on one foot because of the missing flip-flop, and I know my long, dark, curly hair is a long, dark, curly mess. This is so not the time and place for my mom to get nostalgic.
I clear my throat and hope that for once, for just once in her life, my mom catches a hint. She hears the throat clearing. Looks at me and my hair.
Her change:
I clear my throat and hope that for once, for just once in her life, she catches a hint. She looks at me and my hair.
7 comments:
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your editor. I think that this is will bring out the best in your writing. The more confident you are about your work, the better your marketing efforts are bound to be. Yes?
That is a good change in the paragraph.
I like seeing how sentences or paragraphs change for the better after tweaking. Very helpful.
Cool. I am so waiting to see what her mother will do!
Wonderful! Great writing and editing. So glad you are getting so much out of your MFA program. Cheers~
MICHAEL: My mentor is great...her suggestions are clever, insightful. I'm lucky.
KELLY: It's weird how I sometimes have to look at paragraphs five times before I recognize the need for a change. Then I'm like, "Duh."
TINA: Hah! You'll probably find out in about two years when I get this thing done. :)
NANCY: Thanks to you! :)
This is from The YA, isn't it? Thanks for the tidbit.
JONATHON: Yes, this is the YA. It's a difficult book to write, because the theme is heavy, but I don't want it to overpower everything and have the story itself become heavy. I'm constantly working on balance...keeping the main character's voice as light as possible while she deals with some heavy subjects, but not too light that it makes it seem like I'm treating an important subject like it's silly.
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